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cookies, cookies, cookies!

  hi, mary ann here. 

since i was a little girl, i have always enjoyed baking cookies.  & for the past 2 decades, i have baked a ton of cookies to give away as holiday gifts.  usually after thanksgiving, i check my pantry for ingredients that i may be lacking, start gathering my supplies, & then bake, bake, bake!

well, more like, make & freeze...& then bake.   it's usually only at christmastime that i do this mass quantity baking for lucky family, friends & even my local postal peeps (they have delivered quite a few packages over the course of the year) :).  i decided long ago that the best kind of gifts to give

during the holiday season are the ones that come from the heart.  & since i love to bake cookies, i thought wouldn't this make a lovely gift?  unless you are dieting or cutting out carbs,  who would turn down  homebaked cookies at christmastime?  not many in my family or circle of friends!  plus, i've got it down to a science, hehehe...once i have all my ingredients & baking equipment (my kitchenaide mixer has made things oh-so efficient!), then it's pretty much assembly line fashion from there on out. 

i make about 6 different types of cookies (more if i am feeling adventurous or if i found a wonderful cookie recipe that i want to try).  my core favs, though  (in no particular order, because i heart them equally)  are raspberry linzer cookies, snowballs & peppakakor.  the latter are swedish spice cookies.  i fell in love with these cookies when a swedish friend of mine showed me how to make them many moons ago & i have been hooked on them ever since. my family members often look forward to getting their very own batch of these delectable delights.   

i also enjoy the decorating part of holiday cookie baking.  i get to flex my creative muscles during this part...so fun, you know?

it makes me all warm & fuzzy inside knowing that i gave a gift that was heartfelt, homemade & very much appreciated by my recipients.  i'd rather fill people's bellies than some overflowing landfill.

wishing you all a heartfelt & happy holiday season! 

The Reason for the Season

from Megan:

My husband calls me a Scrooge; he's only partially joking. It's not that I'm mean or stingy about Christmas, it's just that I'm not totally attached to all the things that other people feel Christmas is about. For example, I'm ok with not putting up a Christmas tree.

The thing is, Christmas (and holidays in general), hasn't traditionally been a fantastic experience for me. I remember in seventh grade our teacher gave us a writing assignment that I couldn't do: Write about your best Christmas memory. I tried explaining to him that I had nothing to write about and he told me I was just being dramatic. I wasn't.

Which, I've decided, is exactly why I don't love the "traditional" Christmas things. For me, a traditional Christmas is stressful. All my life I wanted to really be able to love Christmas; I was waiting for the time to come when I could just dig in and laugh and play and have as much fun as everyone on TV and in the movies did. But, when I grew up I was thrust from playing into my second family's (my husband's clan that is) way of doing things.

I went from unhappiness to feeling stressed and out of place. Boxing Day has traditionally been my favorite part of the holidays (for the last fifteen years anyway) - it's when I get to go home and relax.

Two years ago I started to really think about how I'd like the day to go. I mean, what was it that I didn't like about the holiday anyway? (Answer: stress and obligations.) What did I want Christmas to feel like? (Answer: fun and relaxing.) I started to imagine what my perfect Christmas day would include.

I want to set the Christmas tree up the night before - as a family. I don't want to be obligated to get up at any time, or to wait to a particular time either. I want the freedom to choose to open gifts right away, or to wait and savour them throughout the day. I want to get up and make a nice big breakfast together. I want to be able to relax and laugh and go at our own pace. But best of all, I want to go to the movies.

All the best movies come out over Christmas and it seems like the perfect day to pack up the family and go watch a fabulous movie. I never thought I'd be advocating the movie theatre on Christmas, but it actually suits our little family perfectly and everyone has a good time.

Then I want to come home and finish opening gifts (if there are any left), have a light dinner and lounge around and just enjoy each other's company. In short: I want a nice relaxing holiday where I can dig in and play - for once.

I imagined the perfect Christmas day for myself two years ago, but this Christmas is the first year that I really get to implement it. It's the first year that we'll really be having our very own Christmas holiday. Wakizashi may call me a scrooge but he's got it all wrong; it's not that I don't like (or value) Christmas, it's just that I prefer to value the reason for the season (my family and love) rather than the traditions that I've never been able to enjoy.

And after all, isn't that the best thing about family and holidays? That each generation gets to go out and forge their own way, building on the old and creating something new?

A Thanksgiving Day

from Patti:

Here is a holiday memory for me about Thanksgiving in the city beautiful, Orlando.

Sometimes, it's sort of funny thinking about my childhood growing up in Florida. I always thought we were lucky if we had a cold Christmas, but a cool Thanksgiving—hardly ever. In most cases, we would all be in shorts with the widows wide open to allow the heat from the oven to escape.

My parents always had everyone over to our house. My dad loved cooking and there was always lots of preparation. Dad would start grocery shopping weeks in advance and mom would start working on her stuffing several days ahead. There were always vegetables to be cut and so many dishes to wash. The day before my parents would always take the GIANT turkey outside to clean it out. Watching both of them do this was always comforting. I don't know why but seeing them do this together was important for me.

Honestly I don't know how they made so much food. They would cook for an army. I don't remember doing much in the kitchen. Sometimes mom would have me help her with the gravy and I always loved watching the gravy thicken after she would put some flour in and it dissolved. Of course my sisters and I would try to sneak bacon that my dad would place on the turkey—dad would jokingly scold us. There were also words when he sauteed mushrooms and he would have to find new places to hide them before we ate them all. Under bowls or lids. Once they were behind the toaster.

My main task was to set the table. Always, always we would use the Courier and Ives china and the good silverware. Mom had lovely 1950's  linen tablecloths and they were only used on holidays or birthdays. The prettiest one has poinsettias on them.

All of this in 80 degree temps. Every year I would watch Macy's Parade and forever long to be in the cold around the holidays. Now I am in New England in the cold and love it  but I wish I could share it with my family.

Open House

Hello All, my name is Ellen Crimi-Trent and I am an illustrator, designer, wife and mother of two young boys. I just wanted to share a traditon we started when my oldest was about one. Every year about a week before Xmas we have an "Open House" party, where we invite family and friends to come and go as they please. It has become quite the tradition that everyone expects it now. In the last four years or so we added a visit from good ol' Saint Nick. Yes! thats right Santa comes to our house, but not in a sled in a red PT Cruiser! The kids just love the chance to really sit down with him and talk about all the things they wish for Christmas.

Santa is just one of the things that makes the kids have a good time, last year it was so warm out that we ordered a moonwalk! Yes you heard it right a moonwalk in December! Do I hear Global Warming. Anyway the kids just loved it. In the beginning we had the food catered but these days my husband and I make it all and save quite a bit of money, plus I think it tastes much better. Last year we started a new tradition with the party which was to give a charitable donation for a local homeless family. This worked out well and everyone loved the idea. This year I had a thought to not have the party since my brother is getting married the weekend before, but then I thought about how the boys would miss it, and since the kids are not invited to the wedding this would give them a chance to hang out with their cousins.
I know not all people are lucky as we are to be with their loved ones during this time and I feel for them, especially the troops! I do not know how those families cope with the separation especially the kids. I ran into a woman at my local post office who collects used ink cartridges to recycle for $10 phone cards which she then sends to our troops overseas! Wow, what an amazing person, I think I found our charity for this year! I wish for this Holiday season eveyone take time out and forget about the gifts and just enjoy each other's company!
Happy Holidays!

Ellen Crimi-Trent

To see what I do and what is up in my studio go to:
http://ellencrimitrent.typepad.com

Pat Sloan's Day After...

I'm Pat Sloan and I'm really pleased Melba is doing this series of posts about our traditions, that is so wonderful!

Being a November baby means November is truly my favorite month. With fall, Thanksgiving, my birthday (which is sometimes ON Thanksgiving),  and getting ready for Christmas... this is IT for me!

My granny was the Queen of decorating. She did up each holiday with lots of ribbon, trimmings, and general 'kitchy' stuff. Her tradition was that on the day after Thanksgiving you would decorate for Christmas. It was always done this way in her home.

As I had my own home I decided that my decorating often followed Granny and that I too should enjoy my Christmas holiday things as long as possible. That means taking out the decorations and redoing the entire downstairs. Putting up the tree and all else that puts me in the Christmas spirit. I listen to holiday music and generally get into the spirit of things on this day

Granny now decorates with the Angels and I'm sure she has them hauling out boxes on the 'Day after'. And as I decorate.. I think of her and all the fun she brought into my life.

To hang out with me and learn a bit more about the stuff I do.. visit me here...
website - http://www.QuiltersHome.com
Blog - http://patsloan.typepad.com

Thanxmas and Dirty Santa

From Amber:

My immediate family was never really big on holidays.  Growing up, I lived with my mother right next door to Gramma.  Holidays were spent catching up with the family members who came to visit Gramma.  So we never really had any major traditions of our own.  My brother and sister were so much older than me that by the time I could even remember holidays, they usually had commitments with in-laws or other obligations.  We would just have our little Christmas whenever we could all get together.

My senior year of high school was the year that all changed.  When we found ourselves exchanging Christmas presents the weekend of my high school graduation, we knew something had to change.  Well, Christmas was already taken by other obligations for at least one sibling, so we had to choose another holiday to make our own.  And it's just not Christmas if it isn't at least a little chilly out.  So Thanksgiving became the logical solution.  At least November is closer to December 25th than May!  And that way we would always know exactly when we would exchange gifts.  No more "whatever weekend we all happen to be able to get together" nonsense.

So for 8 years we have made up our own holiday, blending Thanksgiving and Christmas together to make Thanxmas.  We have our big dinner the day after Thanksgiving, followed by our gift exchange - our family's take on Dirty Santa.

You may be familiar with some form of Dirty Santa - a price limit is set and everyone brings a gift in that price range.  Some versions of the game involve gag gifts, but our family prefers for everyone to end up relatively happy - at least still speaking when it's over.  So we just all buy something in the previously agreed upon price range that we would be happy with if we ended up with it.  So when we get ready to start the game we pile all the presents in the middle of the floor and everyone draws a number from a cup.  Whoever draws #1 gets to pick any present to open.  #2 can either pick another present to open or "steal" whatever the other person got.  Once the last person has had a turn, #1 gets to look over all the merchandise and decide whether he's happy with what he has or if he wants to take something else.  An item can only be taken 3 times - whoever "stole" it the 3rd time is the final owner.  Half the fun is in forming an alliance with your spouse to get the good stuff! 

Traditions: Bereaved Parents Creating Meaningful Holidays

Excerpted from Kota Loss Journal
Coping with the Winter Holidays section
Compiled by Kara L.C. Jones

One of the great blessings I get from being a part of the MISS Foundation is to be a part of the facilitator's mailing list. Kim from the California Chapter sent around a note looking for ideas about helping bereaved parents through the holidays. In response, many other facilitators came forward with these fabulous ideas for how they cope with the holidays and how they help other bereaved families to get through it all. I was so overwhelmed and encouraged by this out-pouring that I decided to compile the ideas into a list for our KotaPress readers, and now I'm honored to share these Traditions here, too.

Hope that you, too, will find inspiration and courage from these ideas.  The holidays are never easy after the death of a child. It doesn't matter how long it has been. So take heart, you are not alone. Take comfort, you might find some support in one of these:

From Jana, California Chapter of the MISS Foundation

    I made a point to have some memento at each Holiday [support group] meeting, which means just about every month. For our first meetings, I try to give a pin to each parent (hand or foot print) with their child's name on it. Usually it is worn to Group only. For March I did a clover with the child's name, for December - an ornament. The quilt squares are wonderful too. You can supply the pre-cut fabric and batting, along with puffy paint, buttons, etc... and work on them together during a meeting. I was surprised how into it the Dads were.

    For Christmas and Thanksgiving I have decorated a cemetery in the children's section with flowers and a Kindness Card from our MISS Group. This gets the web address out for those who are suffering the Holidays alone.

    I have arranged guest speakers for Holiday meetings, too. Some professionals who have had a personal experience are willing and eager to donate their time during the Holidays. My focus is always to make it a time of celebration, rather than slipping into the dark depression. I use the Holidays as a time of "celebrating" the many ways in which my life has been blessed by the child who has left us.

    Setting up peer support during the next few months can also be very helpful. I use to send a MISS group card to each family that I had been in contact with and recognize their special child.

From Heidi, Minnesota Chapter of the MISS Foundation

    I came up with a nice idea for signing Christmas cards.

    I got a very small angel paper puncher. (If you are thinking of doing this, I recommend buying more than one. I actually have 3, then I always have a back up when mine starts to get dull.) I punched out a little angel at the bottom of every card, just under or after our names. The first year I did this, I sent out a small typed up phrase (with another angel punched out at the bottom), that said,

    "The little angel at the bottom, is in memory of our precious little Natalie. It is our way of symbolizing that although she is no longer with us physically, her spirit will forever be part of us and our family."

    (More than a year later I saw that my father-in-law had framed it and put it in his bedroom.)

    Now I punch a little angel out of every card I send, not only Christmas cards. My friends, family, co-workers, and everyone we know understand what it means. It's my way of reminding them of Natalie and making sure that no one can forget her, letting them know that she is still very much a part of our family.

    I have heard of another mom that does the same with an angel stamp.

From Mary, Illinois Chapter of the MISS Foundation

    Each year at our support group meetings in December, we try to have a "holiday party" so to speak. While we are talking, we provide materials for everyone to make an ornament for their angel(s). The dads really dig using glue guns!! The people who have been with us a while say that these are absolute treasures to them.

    The ornaments are usually making an angel of some sort. Last year we did a seashell body with a wooden ball for the head, craft store wedding rings for the halo, and wood hearts put together with the points touching on the back for the wings. We also had a small ribbon that was glued on like a necklace with a bead that was the color of the birthstone of the baby. We glittered up the wings ahead of time and spray painted the seashells white. They really turned out nice.

    We also have candles there that they light when they come in. We also ask people to bring in music they like that we play in the background. I think personally, it is my favorite meeting of the year, and we provide a safe place to "celebrate" with people who understand. We also give them a gift from us, usually another ornament.

    So often, as we all know, the holidays just suck. We try to make it just a little easier.

From Patrice (I'm not sure which chapter, sorry!)

    The one thing that I found helpful last year is - I bought some inexpensive plastic angel ornaments from Big Lots (they are red, green or clear and they open up). I gave one to each member of our extended family and our close friends and asked them to write something to Geneva for Christmas. They could write whatever they chose to and then they were supposed to put their notes in the ornaments and bring it to our house to hang on our tree.

    Craig and I loved seeing all of the filled angels on our tree and especially liked reading all of the notes after Christmas as we were putting the ornaments away. (I wanted to wait to read the notes, because putting the Christmas decorations away is very depressing for me.)

    We also do this at Easter time with plastic easter eggs.

From Joanne, Founder of MISS Foundation National

    I always include Cheyenne in our Christmas cards (they are usually pre-printed)-- for example:

    "Like the unseen breeze, the presence of those loved and lost remains with us always."
    This holiday season we remember our daughter and sister, Cheyenne.
    Take time this season to remember...

From Kristin, California (Arcadia) Chapter of the MISS Foundation

    Something my husband and I did last year to cope with the holidays was that we bought all our family members Christmas ornaments with Emily's name and the year on them. That made me feel like she would be a part of people's Christmas.

    My mother in law also went to a nursery and bought a whole bunch of pink rose bushes. We put big pink bows on them and gave them to people. I love going to people's houses and having them show me "Emily's Rose." These gifts gave us a positive focus and really helped us cope.

See what I mean about these ideas being inspired and comforting? Hope something here sparked an idea or two for you and your family, especially if you are missing a loved one who has died.  Remember that though life looks completely different after the death of a loved one, it doesn't mean traditions are completely lost.  It just means we begin to re-create a new kind of tradition.  Tradition that both celebrates the moment and honors those who have gone before us;  tradition that layers and reflects a more holistic view of our lives, allowing for both joy and sorrow.  We are complex beings.  It is okay to feel a multitude of emotions in any given moment.  And our traditions can adapt to fit this complexity, too.

Miracles to you!

More Information
At KotaPress, we have a whole section of articles for bereaved parents coping with the holidaze posted at:  kotapress.com/section_articles/holidays/winterHolidays/index.htm

Also, just a reminder that the Second Sunday of December every year is National Children's Memorial day.  Compassionate Friends keeps a list each year of worldwide candle-lighting events.  To find one near you for 2007, please see:

http://www.compassionatefriends.org/2007_WCL/2007_wcl_events.htm

Kara is editor at KotaPress and also the artist behind the 1000 Faces of Mother Henna and A Peace Of... projects.

Many thanks to Melba and everyone here at JustBeConnected for letting me share these Traditions here!

My personal tradition-Cross stitch

Every year around Thanksgiving I start on a cross stitched ornament for the Christmas tree.  I've been making them since my husband and I got married, so this will be my seventh one. 

I love getting them out every year, making sure each year's ornament is visible on the tree.  Remembering where I might have been each year when making them.  The 2000 ornament is memorable as the ornament that was cross stitched in the smallest apartment I have ever seen, our very first home!  The dining room was the living room was the kitchen and there wasn't any point closing the bedroom door because a) you had to go through it to get to the bathroom and b) there wasn't space to swing it closed! 

I love the memories associated with each one and knowing that these will long be cherished when the holidays roll around.  But most of all, I like making them.  Each year, during the busiest, rushed, hurried, chaotic time of year, I sit down in the evenings, cozy up on the sofa and have a few moments to myself.  I don't watch tv, I don't try to hold a conversation, I just cross stitch.  Concentrating on the tiny x's, I'm not thinking about the list of chores that needs to be done.  Longer now during the holidays than during a normal day.  I let the stitches completely engross me.  Until something more pressing interrupts me and it's back to the grind.  But I am thankful for those ornaments during this crazy time of year for the small pockets of peace they give me.

Visit me at my personal blog CorgiPants.

Easy-Peazy, Edible Holiday House

From Donna

Happy (almost) Holidays to all!

I am excited to be able to share one of our most beloved Holiday Traditions! 

For my family, the Christmas season begins on the first day of Advent and ends somewhere around January 5 - the Feast of the Epiphany.  We celebrate with several different traditions throughout the season - but one of our favorites is our special "Gingerbread" Houses!

We began making these about 14 or 15 years ago right after our youngest child was born and now the kids say that the Christmas season cannot be over until we have made our houses!  Most years we do them before Christmas, but one year it was after New Years on the Feast of the Epiphany that we made them due to some events in our family that kept us busy until then.

When my kids were little, they wanted to make those fancy gingerbread houses that one sees on tv and in books.  Back then, there were no kits - or maybe I just could not afford the kits at the time...in any case, the kits were out and I did not feel confident enough to try to prepare gingerbread-style cookies and cut out the shape of walls and a roof, so I got creative instead!

We used graham crackers and frosting and lots and lots of candy!  The results made the children very happy and it became something that we looked forward to year after year.  As the kids got older, they began to compete for the biggest houses or the one that looked most like the home we were currently living in.  One year, my oldest son made an apartment building!  (I apologize for the quality of the photos...I had to scan them into my computer)

Fancy rambler with chimney

See the house with the little fence around it and the one with the attached garage?

You can see in this photo the collapsed apartment building; the house next to that one is the one that looks like our current home!

This is always a special night that we look forward to!

To make your own simple, edible "Gingerbread House" purchase:

1-2 boxes of plain graham crackers (we always get two just in case there are lots of broken ones)

paper plates

vanilla icing (2 or more containers) (you can color it if you want)

plastic knives for spreading the icing

lots of different candies - we get gummie bears, gummy lifesavers, marshmellows for making snowmen, peppermints, skittles, candy canes, gum drops, little cinnamon candies and more!  Coconut and colored sugar is nice, too, to sprinkle on the icing.  In recent years we have even found little snowmen and santas - much like the easter peeps.

You CAN make royal icing, but we always just used regular icing and never had a problem!

Use the icing to hold the four walls together, then ice the roof pieces and set them on top of the house.  You may hold it for a few minutes to let the icing harden a bit - make sure you use enough icing to hold it all together well.  We also put a bit of icing on the paper plate to help hold the walls up.

When the kids were very small, we used little square milk containers (like the half and half containers) to build the house around - just cut the container top off so that it is a square and turn it upside down so the bottom becomes the top.  Place the squares of graham cracker around the container and ice.

Use icing to hold pieces of candy on the sides and roof.  The kids always loved decorating the "yard" (the paper plate), as well - often building fences from marshmellows and adding icing  and coconut "snow".  They often decorated their gummie bears with icing and candy, too!

Of course, while all of this is going on we have Christmas music playing and there is alot of laughter and ribbing over who will make the "greatest" house ever!  I try to take pictures every year, but some years have gone without pictures...that is ok!  We hold the memories in our hearts!

My own daughter is married and has two littlies of her own and she has begun this tradition with her own family now!

Maybe someday after all the kids are grown, my husband and I will purchase one of those ready-made kits and put together a detailed "fancy" gingerbread house...but then again, maybe we will just pick us up a box of graham crackers, some frosting and lots of candy and make our simple "gingerbread" house!

Thank you for the opportunity to share one of our most favorite holiday traditions with you!

Blessings to you and enjoy your holidays!

Holiday Centerpiece

From Tammy:

In thinking about what to share as a holiday tradition, I realized - I don't have very many traditions! I don't get together with my family anymore for holidays (by my choice). When my grandparents were living, holidays were a big deal and we always had the big family gatherings with the huge potlucks. Once they passed on, it seems we've all gone our own ways. My siblings still get together on New Year's Day, but I don't go.

So what to share? Well, I decided to go with an idea I had a few years back that turned out to be SO fun. I had forgotten about it until searching for what to share here!

I love flowers. My favorite part is to buy loose flowers and arrange them! A few years ago for Thanksgiving, a friend and co-worker asked me to make a Thanksgiving Centerpiece for her. I had never done this before, but she had seen photos of my wedding creations, and wanted me to do something for her. (I've done flowers for three weddings!)

She gave me a dollar limit and told me to go to town. I wanted to do something unique, not run-of-the-mill. I bought a small baking pumpkin and hollowed out the center. I kept the "lid" of the pumpkin intact with the vine "handle" attached. Once it was hollowed out, I fitted a small piece of floral foam inside.

I proceeded to arrange a bouquet of fall flowers in the foam, using the pumpkin as a container! Once I had the flowers arranged, I attached the lid of the pumpkin to the side using floral wire. A fairly inexpensive, creative, unique centerpiece was created! My friend loved it, and even "tipped" me for making it for her! I had fun putting it together and have done it several more times since then for functions around Thanksgiving!

I keep thinking - my grandmother would have loved it! I wish I'd made one when she was still living! Let me know if you have questions about my process. I'll answer them if I can. If you do create something like this for your celebrations, I'd love to see it!! Happy Holidays!